1. Getting your period when you really need it. Whether it’s a week before your big birthday weekend or a vacation you’ve been waiting all year for, getting your period ahead of time means having one less thing to worry about. Suddenly, traveling, going out, dressing up, and stripping down are easier, more convenient, less stressful, and all-in-all, much more enjoyable. On the other hand, waiting for a period in the midst of a pregnancy scare (whether big or small) makes you appreciate the monthly little devil you never knew you would miss. Nothing is worse than having to deal with your period at an inconvenient time, except the inconveniences that come when it’s late.
2. The perks of being a bra wearer. Bras are one of those things that only women can fully comprehend. Switching from a back- to front-clasp bra is like switching a man’s iPhone from English to 汉字/漢. The entertainment factor in trying to stay in the moment while he fumbles with the clasp like it’s a straightjacket, or Pandora’s freaking box, is priceless. Practically a representation of woman itself, the bra is strong, supportive, comes in a million different shapes, sizes, and colors, and (like women’s ability to multitask) are multifunctional as pockets, wallets, pillows, and more. When we’re not complaining about them, we’re taking advantage of them.
3. Successfully completing a proper ponytail on the first try. The amount of time I spend redoing a ponytail/braid/other, only to give up and flick on my straightener to fix whatever was the problem in the first place… is unpleasant. Lady high-fives all around to those who can properly toss their hair back on the first try. On a related note:
4. Taking down a ponytail and not having “the bump.” You know. Well done, girl.
5. Getting goosebumps in the winter and not giving a damn because your legs are hairy anyway. Whether it’s a myth or not, getting goosebumps and feeling your hair follicles prickle after a fresh shave is one of the most frustrating lady-problems. But for at least one period in the winter, we have the satisfaction of wearing pants for long enough that our leg hair grows out, and goosebumps make little difference. Freedom to shiver and freeze in the winter without having to concern yourself with the prickling climbing up your ankles is priceless.
6. Hating and loving everything about your half of the gender species. Periods, babies, boy troubles, bras, boobs, skirts, thongs, high heels, moisturizer, jewelry, men, sewing, assumptions, douchebags, freckles, yoga pants, ponytails, bobby pins, there’s a million upsides and a million downsides, and a million opportunities in each.
7. Going out and knowing you look great. Showering, drying and doing hair, putting together your outfit, your face, your plans, and seeing that a) it paid off, and b) it’s over. The satisfaction of being DONE getting ready, and getting to actually show off what you’ve been preparing is incomparable to anything else. Whether it took you ten minutes or a few hours, the satisfaction is all the same.
8. Being able to basically do… whatever we want. We are free to settle into girly movies (every girl has a spot in her heart for guilty pleasure classics like Bring It On, Dirty Dancing, The Notebook) with the carefree knowledge that nobody will judge us. Trashy music from Ke$ha can be your secret – or not-so-secret – anthem, and we can stand our ground: this music was made for us. Gay clubs, straight clubs, unless it’s a specific men’s only night, we’re pretty much welcome anywhere. Being a girl definitely has its downfalls, pressures, dangers, and curveballs, but there’s so much fun to be had, I can’t imagine being anything else. Plus, I feel like growing a penis at this stage in my life would just be like, super inconvenient.