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Buying presents for parents is hard. Like, trying-to-decide-what-to-watch-on-Netflix hard. Like, 2048-hard. Like, Ryan-Reynolds’-body hard.

(May or may not have spent too much time picking a shirtless Ryan Reynolds picture.)

(May or may not have spent too much time picking a shirtless Ryan Reynolds picture.)

While buying presents for parents is hard, it’s always worth it when you find the perfect gift. Perfect gifts in general always feel like a lightning-bolt to the head, and you just know. After seeing different “childhood photo recreations” on my perpetually repetitive Facebook newsfeed, I couldn’t stop thinking about how hysterical some of my childhood photos are, and how hard my mother would a) laugh, and b) cry… well, I couldn’t resist. My amazing mother retired from CIBC after 38 years, and even though she said no presents, who ever listens to their mother? (Truth: I do. Just not this weekend). She’s the most supportive, generous, kind person and making her cry-laugh through a dozen photos is the least I can do to make her as happy as she’s made me.

I got back to Windsor on Wednesday morning, and spent the next five days scrambling and lying (pooooooorly) to try and get to the different locations, people, and items in the pictures. I’m pretty proud of the result, and can’t wait to recreate the recreations 20 years from now. Love you mama.

Homemade Dixie cups? Check.

Homemade Dixie cups? Check.

Thankfully, we only moved houses once.

Thankfully, we only moved houses once.

Guess whose shirt is actually a pair of tights?

Guess whose shirt is actually a pair of tights?

19 years later (and Jenn looks the same).

19 years later (and Jenn looks the same).

Just wait for the blooper reel.

Just wait for the blooper reel.

Two bite brownies, chocolate sauce, strawberry jam, and green food coloring. Creativity, man.

Two bite brownies, chocolate sauce, strawberry jam, and green food coloring. Creativity, man.

We even found a boat.

We’re on a boat.

Born to ride.

Born to ride.

Half-inflated water wings because no way are those getting past my wrists otherwise.

Half-inflated water wings because no way are those getting past my wrists otherwise. Other than that though, nothing’s really changed.

The MOST coached photo, for sure. "LEFT ARM! OTHER LEFT!"

The MOST coached photo, for sure. “LEFT ARM! OTHER LEFT!”

Propped on a pillow, balanced under a garment rack serving as the backdrop, laying across a chair and a bowflex machine.

Cheeky baby.

One of my favourite pictures ever.

Personal verdict: flawless.

Twenty years later.

Twenty years later. Again, look forward to the blooper reel.

Finalement.

Finalement.

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After a day of first-world torture and #problems, it can be hard to stay a sane, normal person. Here are 20 different ways to handle a bad day. They are most definitely not all recommended. Side effects are likely. We’ll begin with a classic.

1. Drinking! See also: Girls Night Out.

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2. Willingly accept rebellion into your life. Take a walk on the wild side.

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3. Read a book. Or a magazine. Or an article online. For gods sake, read SOMETHING!

jlaw ummmm

4. Angry-break things. Tear shit up. Throw down. Hitting things feels good, and admitting that is the first step of the road to recovery.

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5. Florence.

6. Dance it out.

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BREAK IT DOWN

7. Bitch about it. And not in a classy way. In a way that not even yourself respects. Without justification, without reason, without having to answer to anyone. Sometimes you need a few moments where your words have no one to answer to except the universe.

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8. Music therapy. Life’s a song, and sometimes it sucks dick.

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9. Rise above. You are better than this bad day. Flip your hair, strut your stuff, and make tomorrow a real, real good day.

bitch im flawless

hairflip fierce bey

10. Just lose it. (Also: shaking your face like this feels way better than you’d expect it to.)

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11. Watch cat videos. Or cat GIFs. Or Anna Kendrick GIFs. Or ideally, Anna Kendrick cat GIFs.

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12. Eat your feelings. ALL of the feelings.

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13. Smile and nod. Smile. And. Nod.

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14. JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES, BREATHE, AND THINK OF FIGHT CLUB.

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15. Exercise. It’s gooood for you.

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16. Full-screen the GIF below. Maybe make it your background. Laptop, phone, everything. I suggest adding a sound loop, but that’s just me.

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17. JGL.

18. Do something about it. If every day is a bad day, something’s off.

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19. Admit the truth and accept it as a part of you.

i am not a successful adult

who cares im awesome

Definitely go with Kat Dennings on this one. On most ones, actually.

Follow me on Twitter @sydney_neilson.

1. Everyone with headphones in is listening to One Direction. 

That guy with the dreads walking with a limp? Yup. The Jon Hamm lookalike you pass by on the way to work? Yup. The bitter bus driver with a stick up her ass? Yup. Seriously entertaining.

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2. Celebrity Match-Up

From the son of Geddy Lee and Paris Hilton I saw at the grocery store, to the hybrid daughter of Daniel Radcliffe and Julia Roberts that lives on my block, I love calling people out on who they kind-of-sort-of-might look like, especially when you find the really, really accurate ones. It doesn’t have to be offensive, it doesn’t even have to be based on looks or clothes or anything that makes sense, it’s your game. The other day, someone told me I reminded them of a Lena Dunham-Jennifer Lawrence hybrid. I don’t know how well I handled it.

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3. Animal sounds.

Pretty much just a game of subtle offensive comments, this works best in a loud area where you can be… not heard. Make the sounds of the animals that would represent the passersby. Most accurate wins. Extra points for realizing most animals make a similar eoiuertyoiwuehakjbvausd sound.

4. Narrate conversations you’re not close enough to hear.

Bonus points for narrating a couple’s breakup.

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5. Wave at babies. 

This may not be a game, but seriously, when the baby waves back and you remember how flusteringly adorable tiny people are, and you turn into a pile of smushy baby talk that pretty much consists of opening your mouth and saying “Hiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!” in varying volumes and levels of obnoxious glee… you’ll just feel better.

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It’s like petting someone’s dog on the street corner. It just makes you happier. But definitely go with waving. Don’t touch people’s babies. They don’t like that.

babyspoon  babyasian

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6. Listen. 

Play I Spy, but with sounds. Just take in the soundscape around you. You know catching bits of conversations out of context is funny, so try hearing more. You might catch something interesting.

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Hearing actual breakups is even more fun that making them up.

7. Reverse shit-talk the world.

It’s really easy to sit on the patio and and rip on everyone that walks by, calling them names and making animal sounds. But it’s actually easier, and way more pleasant by the end, to discuss the positives of people. Her shoes, his jacket, the way they walk together. It’s easy to get caught up in your opinion of things, but seeing the diversity of humanity is awesome, and people-watching is where it’s at.

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Follow me on Twitter here.

10. “Keep your freedom for as long as you can.”

The song says it best: “Just because you’ve become a young man now / There’s still some things that you don’t understand now / Before you ask some girl for her hand now / Keep your freedom for as long as you can now, / My mama told me…’you better shop around.'” I don’t know what’s with people and jumping the gun on marriage and commitment lately, but I feel like everyone just needs to stop and take a big ol’ breath of Motown.

9. “War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing.”

Sound familiar? Oh, just sing along. Betcha didn’t know this was Motown!

8. “Superstition ain’t the way.”

STEVIE! He was 12 when he first got signed, and by 20, had full creative control and freedom. By 1973, the world knew he was incredible, he’d had a number one album (the youngest ever on the pop charts) and several number one songs before “Superstition.” But damn, nothing feels better than the recognizable riff that opens this song. Superstition ain’t the way, but Stevie sure is.

Plus, remember when Raven did this song for the Haunted Mansion’s soundtrack? Loooool.

7. “Please, Mr Postman.”

Motown taught manners. Berry Gordy instituted an Artist Development Department at Motown, where his stars learned how to walk, talk, breathe, light a cigarette – everything was coached and perfected so that they wouldn’t give white people any more reason to avoid buying their records. Their interviews were amiable, their music was tasteful, and Gordy had a hand in it all. This was Motown’s first #1 on the Billboard Pop Charts, covered by the Beatles, the Carpenters, sampled in Juelz Santana and Lil Wayne songs, but here’s the 1961 original, by The Marvelettes!

6. “If I have to beg and plead for your sympathy, I don’t mind, cause you mean that much to me.”

Put your pride away. Everyone wants a man that ain’t too proud to beg, and nothing says it better than this 1966 classic. The Temptations are pretty easily one of my favourite bands of all time, and this song is just the most infectious, dancey songs… ever. Fun fact: The Temptations, upon their begging and pleading for your sympathy, would have used their manners. Berry Gordy instituted an Artist Development Department at Motown, where his stars learned how to walk, talk, breathe, light a cigarette, and carry themselves in public – everything was coached and perfected to Gordy’s specification. He knew what he was doing, and we are eternally grateful. Now, DANCE!

5. “Music is played for love, cruisin’ was made for love.”

Growing up in Windsor, there’s one thing that everyone enjoys and takes for granted in the border city. The quality of radio is fucking incredible. From our historic CKLW to the crossover stations from Detroit, the airwaves are brimming with variety. Because of all the shared airwaves with the Motor City, we got a lot of Motown, and Smokey was a big part of that.

4. “A, B, C!”

A pretty basic lesson, Motown even taught phonetics. Fun Fact: This song knocked the Beatles’ “Let It Be” from the top spot on the pop charts.

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This must be John hearing the Beatles’ watered down Motown covers for the first time. It’s okay, Lenny, nothing will ever be as awkward as some of Jagger’s takes on the classics. Just keep reading.

3. “You can’t hurry love.”

I die a little bit inside every time someone thinks this is originally a Phil Collins song.

And mmmmmmm, this isn’t even that good, but mmmmmm..

2. “Only love can conquer hate.”

Marvin Gaye said it best in What’s Going On. He had full creative control on this album, but boss-man Berry Gordy called it “the worst record” he’d ever heard. One of the most socially-conscious songs of the 60s, and one of the best songs/albums of all time (according to Rolling Stone, Time, Billboard, fucking everybody, google it), and it practically got rejected.

1. “All we need is music, sweet music.”

Alright, so most people know this one. And rightfully so! It’s got a great big opening and an awesome groove, so enjoy the original, by Martha and the Vandellas!

David Bowie and Mick Jagger covered this song for god knows why, but if you want a really, really good laugh, I suggest the video below.

Speaking of sweet, sweet music…
Here are my five Motown favourites (and some fantastic montages) that just didn’t fit into any of the categories above. Cheers!

“Do You Love Me” – The Contours 
You know it from: Dirty Dancing! And because you just know it.
It makes you want to: Werk! Werk! Ahhhh work it out, bay-beh.

“The Way You Do The Things You Do” – The Temptations

You know it from: a few commercials, 2004’s Raise Your Voice.
It makes you want to: marry Smokey Robinson. Although, most Motown songs make me want to do that, the lyrics to this song are just so perfectly written, so adorably strung together and comfortable. The lyrics started as a joke on the tour bus between members of the Miracles, and penned to music for the Temptations. Quite literally one of my favourite songs of all time.

“I Want You Back” – The Jackson 5
You know it from: living on planet Earth.
It makes you want to: cartwheel down a beach and land in a 60s ball pit of flowers and stylized baby Jacksons.

“Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch (Can’t Help Myself)” – The Four Tops
You know it from: countless American Idol auditions and reality singing competion covers.
It makes you want to: start a quartet so you can dance in synchronization and just jam out.

“The Tracks of My Tears” – Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
You know it from: having great taste in music, congrats!
It makes you want to: sing and cry with mascara and dance and fall in love with Smokey again and again.

And here, might as well fall in love with Gavin DeGraw, too.

1. You know most of the words to “Trouble” (and half of her songs, even though you REALLY DON’T LISTEN TO THEM, I SWEAR!).

…and it’s not just because of the video my Facebook can’t get enough of:

Also, try this one on for size:

2. She tried to pull a feminism on Tiny Fey and Amy Poehler, the Queens of the Universe.

You just don’t do that, especially not when the Internet is already at your throat for 29850434 other “reasons.” But this is an actual reason. She rains on the Liz Lemon parade, and under an umbrella of Katie Couric and feminism, quoted Couric quoting someone else, saying “there’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women,” referring to Fey & Poehler’s crack at her during their (hilarious) stint hosting the Golden Globes. The best part is how much Swift didn’t get it, and how much nobody cared. Read the full story on E! here.

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3. She actually had one of the One Direction boys.

Go ahead, hate on the music, hate on the branding, but the boys from One Direction are cute as really, really, really cute buttons. They’re little stylized, idealized Brits that America can’t get enough of, and dating one is just about as life-threatening as falling at a 1D concert. Seriously, no good comes of being the significant other of in-demand man-boys like Harry Styles and Bieber. Except that you can say you went there. She’s recently been alleged to have spent the night at Ed Sheeran’s… which I feel like is just a weirdly related Brit that I don’t want to deal with just yet. But seriously girl, you didn’t get enough death threats and crazy flak from the Directioners? Pick a less high-profile guy, and STOP TALKING ABOUT EVERYTHING.

Tswift

Sidenote: Anyone who hates Swifty because she’s a “slut:” oh, get over it. You wouldn’t bang John Mayer, Jake Gyllenhaal, a Jonas brother in 2008, Conor Kennedy or Taylor Lautner? Just because she doesn’t handle it well doesn’t make her a slut.

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But holy shit, their kids would have some seriously incredible hair.

4. You can only watch her win something so many times before it becomes justification for homicide.

She’s been nominated 185 times, and won 150 times. That’s 150 speeches, a whole lot of which were televised. Her Grammys come from “White Horse,” “Mean,” and “Safe and Sound.” Granted, she writes most of her stuff, so the awards are (sometimes) justified, but when they’re fan-voted, it’s pretty much time to go microwave some popcorn or take a pee break. But I could watch her win that 2009 VMA until the end of time. Mostly because I LOVE imagining the explosion in the control room trying to figure out what the fuck to do.

Watch from 1:18. (Rough quality, but the only link that actually shows the whole thing:)

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5. She’s beautiful.

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And in an interesting, cool way that you don’t really understand. And she’s got those Asian-y eyes you can’t decide whether to envy or despise. And she’s blonde and all cheekbones and smile and ah, fuck it.

Taylor Swift

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6. She’s too easy.

To make fun of.

Taylor+Swift

7. She’s only 23 and she’s way more rich, famous, and fabulous than most of us will ever be, at 22 or any other time in your life.

We shouldn’t hate her for this, but we do. So girls, stop hating on other girls for no reason. The other nine reasons on this list are still okay, though, so you’re good here. Even when she screws up, she comes out on top. She buys a house next to the Kennedy she was dating, they break up, and she makes a literal million dollar profit on the house-flip. Because she needs a million MORE dollars.

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8. The ending of “22.”

An awesome, fun, shallow-but-so-catchy-and-dancey-that-we-can-ignore-the-lack-of-substance-until-the-end-of-the-song song, “22” is the sixth song off of her newest album, and proves that a quality Swift song is hard to find. I have entirely conditional love for this song: skip the first few lines (especially avoiding her pronunciation of “hipsters”), and the last bit, anything involving the line “You look like bad news, I gotta have you,” and the song’s not bad. Okay, it’s still kind of bad, but it’s fun as hell.

9. She LIVES in high school.

Whether she actually attended high school or not (she did two years in school and one year on tour to earn her diploma) is irrelevant. She uses her PR team to avoid touchy subjects with the press, and recently refused to discuss Harry Styles with Vanity Fair, but “authorized someone to discuss” it with them. Oh, T-Swift. She just makes it harder for herself. #sigh

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And the award goes to…

Seth Macfarlane, for Most Entertaining Oscars in a while.

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Whether you liked his jokes or not (about half of them were legitimately funny, the other half were your choice of cheesy, offensive, or inappropriate), it was entertaining. Watching Marky Mark try and interact with Ted onstage… not so much. Here’s a few best/worst moments from the show (including the really stupid, awful Lincoln joke at the beginning):

Read the Worst of the Bad Jokes here,
And read my live-tweeted recap of the awards here.

And ICYMI: The “Jaws” theme music was used to keep the speeches short, rather than the classic orchestral interlude that signals your speech’s end. At first, kind of funny. But honestly, I think it was more disrespectful than entertaining. They used the regular music for Tarantino’s speech, what makes him better than anyone else? (Besides Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill, and all his Oscars). It just felt tacky to me. What did you think? Let me know @sydney_neilson on Twitter, and read this article discussing the subject here.

Ben Affleck, for Most Unbearably Precious Acceptance Speech. 

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Adele may have been predictably precious winning Best Song, and Anne Hathaway lived a dream come true with Best Supporting Actress, but Affleck’s barely-held-together finale speech (accepting the Oscar for Best Picture) was just beautiful. Watching him care so much… Argo is clearly his baby, he worked damn hard on it, and now he’s got the Oscar to prove it. “Work harder than you think you possibly can,” he said, using his speech as a bit of a pep talk for the future. Although, it wasn’t until he mentioned his wife and kids that he got really choked up. Argo is the fourth film in 85 years to snag Best Picture without a Best Director nod.

“I want to thank them and I want to thank what they taught me, which is that you have to work harder than you think you possibly can. You can’t hold grudges. It’s hard but you can’t hold grudges. And it doesn’t matter how you get knocked down in life because that’s going to happen. All that matters is you gotta get up. Violet, Sam and Sera, this is for you.”

Read Affleck’s full speech transcribed here.

Honorary Mention for “It came true!” from Anne Hathaway, and “You’re all amazing!” from Adele.

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Sandra Bullock, for this:

85th Annual Academy Awards - Show

Robert Downey Jr & Chris Evans (A TIE, HOW SCANDALOUS!) for Best Dressed Avenger.

They may have missed their shot at an Oscar this year, but they did not disappoint. Chris Evans looked sexy and classic, while Robert Downey Jr mixed it up a bit, and just generally looks more delicious than most people. Mark Ruffalo suited up, Jeremy Renner was polished as hell, and Samuel L. Jackson wore a velvet-y looking blazer that just reminded me how confused he makes me.

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Jennifer Lawrence, for Most Lovably Awkward, Fabulous, Entertaining Winner.

Seriously, J.Law can do NO wrong. She killed it in Silver Linings. She fell on her ass. She admitted to shots before the show (watch the press conference video below). She called out Emma Stone on the red carpet, “Your ass is mine, Stone!” She’s absolutely hilarious and real, and now she gets to continue taking over the world, as Academy Award Winner, Jennifer Lawrence, who fell on her way to the stage. The Oscars turn everyone with a Twitter account into a judgemental shitstorm, and I don’t think there’s been one negative word about this girl. The only thing better than watching her fall, is watching the boys react:

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85th Annual Academy Awards - Press Room

YES.

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ALL HAIL THE PRINCESS OF GENOVIA AND KATNISS!

“I’m sorry, I did a shot before I…. I’m sorry, Jesus…”
DYING.

Quvenzhané Wallis, for Cutest, Youngest, whatever.

She just needs some kind of award. LOOK AT HER! Did you SEE Beasts of the Southern Wild? Plus, she was just cast as Annie, in a new big-screen Sony adaptation of the long running musical. Awesome.

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And check out Buzzfeed’s list of the 22 Most Adorable Quvenzhane Wallis Moments from the Oscars here.

Jane Fonda, for Best Aged Person Ever.

Yeah, Halle Berry looked amazing, but seriously. Jane Fonda is SEVENTY-FIVE years old. 75. She was born in 1937. She was alive during the actual Sound of Music plot line. She was born the same year that artificial sweetener was invented. And she’s been awesome every day since.

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Quentin Tarantino, for Being Fucking Awesome. Seriously, even if you hate Tarantino’s movies, he’s seriously awesome. He just does not give a fuck. His speech basically thanked himself (“And man, did I do it!”), but he did call 2013 “the writers’ year,” and he may just be right. Peace out!

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Possibly one of my favourite photos of all time.

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CHARLIZE.

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Kristen Stewart, for Worst Guest/Presenter/Person Ever.

She just looked so unhappy, so forced, and so disheveled. It’s the goddamn Academy Awards, people work their entire lives for this shit, and she can’t be bothered to brush her hair? I just don’t understand who forces her to go to these things… that can’t be the face of a voluntary attendee. The only person that could have possibly looked unhappier was Joaquin Phoenix.

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“We Saw Your Boobs,” for Best Original Performance.

As far as the songs written for the show, this was definitely the best. Clever and funny without being rude or offensive (the “Losers” song at the end, a little iffy…), the song called out all the audience members that have (or have not) stripped down on-camera. Total props to director of the night’s show, Don Mischer, for timing his shots perfectly, grabbing a great reaction from Jennifer Lawrence during the song:

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But the best line?

“And Kate Winslet in “Heavenly Creatures” and “Jude”
And “Hamlet” and “Titanic”
And “Iris” and “Little Children”
And “The Reader”
And whatever you’re shooting right now.
We saw your boobs!”

Leslie Mann and Judd Apatow, for Greatest Red Carpet Couple. I just feel like they’re the best.

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Although, the ridiculous attractiveness between Ketih Urban and Nicole Kidman is a little unbelievable.

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Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Daniel Radcliffe, for Most Adorable Dancing Pair. Yeah, Charlize Theron looked fucking incredible, and Channing Tatum danced her around the stage with his usually classy-as-fuck sexiness, but HARRY POTTER DANCED WITH JGL.

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Sally Field, for Being a Boss. She arrived with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and ditched the heels in minutes. She’s just so cute.

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& Ang Lee, for double fisting his Best Director Oscar and an In-N-Out Burger. Seriously.

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And for those that missed it, a quick recap of everything else:

THE HIGHLIGHTS:

  • Within the first 30 seconds, we get to see Robert Downey Jr. Mmm.
  • The supremely well-timed Sound of Music joke. PERFECT!
  • Samuel L. Jackson’s badass velvet blazer
  • Daniel Day-Lewis is actually funny! And nothing makes an Oscar more satisfying than being awarded by Meryl Streep.
  • Somehow, every sound editor styled their hair the same. Silver linings in more ways than one.
  • Paul Rudd and Melissa McCarthy = hilarious, as expected
  • Paperman won!
  • Jamie Foxx wore a sparkly bowtie and Kerry Washington looked unbelieeeeeevable
  • Chicago moved back onto the stage, led by Catherine Zeta-Jones, and it was awesome.
  • A tie! I guess that’s a highlight. It confused a lot of people.
  • Lots of jewish jokes that were actually funny.
  • Richard Gere and Queen Latifah.
  • Jack Nicholson strolling out casually, closing the Oscars way, way later than necessary.
  • The Obamas prove, once again, that their family is the most unbelievably cool First Family on the planet. Can we keep them forever?

THE LOWLIGHTS:

  • Marky Mark and Ted. Just trying too hard.
  • The whole Captain Kirk thing. The future/past bit was good, using the headlines and such, but it just went on too long, and was a little too self-indulgent for me. Seemed like an excuse to throw in something Macfarlane-y, which just isn’t suited to the show.
  • Not enough Robert Downey Jr.
  • And why wasn’t Leonardo DiCaprio there, even a little bit?
  • The Onion tweeted during the show “”Everyone else seems afraid t say it, but that Quvenzhané Wallis is kind of a c—, right?” Seriously? She’s NINE years old. They deleted the tweet pretty quick, they’ve apologized and all that, but the internet never forgets. Read more here.
  • Renee Zellwegger.
  • I thought I escaped “I Am Telling You I’m Not Going” when we left the 00s… please, keep it there. It’s really incredible and I love JHud, don’t get me wrong, but damn, this song needs to go away for a decade or so.
  • 50 Years of Bond and we only get one performance and a montage? Shirley Bassey was badass, but I just expected more.

GOLD-FINGAAAAA!

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My overall verdict: 8.4/10.

Good host, solid audience, great films this year. Too offensive, inappropriate, and outlandish at times, but to be expected from MacFarlane. Theme = awesome. I need to see Django again. I love Naomi Watts. I love embellishments. I love montages. I love Bond. I love movies.

Read the full list of nominees and winners here.

Also, if you feel the need to watch the show again (the longest show since Hugh Jackman started the musical craze in 2009), you can watch the full thing, legally (if you live in the States), online, on the Oscars website, here.

Now, watch everyone be beautiful together:

Photos and GIFs courtesy of Tumblr & The Huffington Post.

Sunday, February 24th 2013.
6:45 pm, EST.
It begins.

And the #Oscar livetweets begin. #redcarpet

I just love Jennifer Lawrence. #dior #flawless

“Why can’t Tina and Amy host everything?” #questionoftheyear #oscars2013

The #Oscars have a theme. And it’s Music in Film. I think I just came. #oscars2013

I love seeing how short Daniel Radcliffe is. And I love seeing him dance. And I love JGL. And I love everything ever.

Paul Rudd improves everything.

I wonder how dramatically the viewer percentage is going to drop because of #thewalkingdead.

Life of Pi was absolutely incredible. Best use of 3D ever.

@IAMQUVENZHANE is the most precious thing ever. #welcometothegunshow

Using the Jaws music to get you off stage… A little funny, a little disrespectful… yeah, sounds like Seth Macfarlane’s show.

I’ve actually gotten all my #Oscar predictions right so far!

This Bond montage could go on forever I would not be mad about it #50YearsofBond

Kerry Washington’s cheekbones are inspiring. #oscars

If anyone deserves to win something from Zero Dark Thirty, it’s Jessica Chastain, not Kathryn Bigelow. #opinion #isaidit

Fun fact: Sugar Man was partly shot on an iPhone. Director ran out of money for Super8 film and used a vintage cam app. #oscars #random

SING TO ME TRAVOLTA. No, wait, don’t. #takemeback

CHICAGO TRIBUTE THIS IS REAL LIFE IT LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THE FILM BUT IT’S ONSTAGE AGAIN BRB #OSCARS #allthatjazz

Cahterine Zeta-Jones is what everyone ever should aspire to be.

SHOW ME MORE BEHIND THE SCENES #controlroom #please

This is the #Oscars, Ted needs to leave. It’s not working, and it’s making me not like Marky Mark. #opinion #sadtweet

That Sound of Music joke just made up for Ted’s appearance, well done. #catchup #oscars

Unsurprising but totally satisfying. #OscarForAnne #LesMiserables

Am I the only person not excited for Adele? #bestwritingalready #leggo

I love looking forward to the GIFs of tomorrow. #modernhappiness #oscars

Jennifer Lawrence needs to win so we can watch her try and form an acceptance speech in front of this crowd. #loveher #bestactress

For every teenager wondering why they recognize the name Marvin Hamlisch.. Superbad. #lol #justsoyouknow #youlooklikeayoungmarvinhamlisch*

*Yeah, this isn’t right. That quote is from Role Models, I just got too excited and mixed it up. Whoops!

My undying hatred for Renee Zellwegger cannot stop my burning love of Chicago. #contradiction #oscars

Tarantino may have basically just thanked himself, but I’m totally cool with it. #DjangoUnchained #oscars2013 #thewritersyear

Guys, Jane Fonda is 75.

Ang Lee wins Best Director, and I get to chalk up another victory on my #Oscar poll! #LifeOfPi

YES YES YES MY LOVE*

*When Jennifer Lawrence won Best Actress.

NOTHING WILL EVER TOP THIS man i love Jennifer Lawrence way too much*

*When Jennifer Lawrence fell on the way to accept Best Actress.

Jennifer Lawrence is awk in a way that makes you want to be her best friend. K Stew is awk in a way that makes you want to murder-suicide.

The only thing better than winning an Oscar is winning an Oscar from Meryl Streep. #bestactor #oscars2013

When the Obamas are done with politics, can they have their own TV show? I just love their family. #idwatchthat #keepingupwiththeobamas

Argo fuck yourself ❤ #bestpicture #OSCARS