With all these “100 Things” and basic How-To live your life articles floating around the internet, I figured I’d put one of my own out there.

1. Go tanning.

Tan on the roof, on the beach, on the patio at lunch, everywhere, at all costs. Say NO to sunscreen and hats, and YES to bronzing beachside. Get some wrinkles on that skin. Oil up.

tanning gif

2. Eat a shit ton of food. And don’t stop.

Pizza, cheesecake, and coffee galore (not a food, shut up I don’t care) is the way to go. You know you love food, and food loves you too. While there may be some slight disagreements along the way, you and food go way back. Why would you turn away a friend that has helped you survive life thusfar? Maybe you shouldn’t have pizza every single day of your life. Maybe. But didn’t “they” decide pizza was a vegetable earlier this year? Pizza earned your trust and deserves it. Ain’t nobody got time for some list to come in and soil the beautiful relationship between me and my pizza.

eating chandler full

3. Have lots and lots of sex.

Good sex, bad sex, drunk sex, sober sex. You can have it all. While responsibility and stupidity should always be taken into consideration, the moral of the story is that sex is good for you. It teaches you self awareness and confidence. Ignore what people tell you about “your number” and enjoy your prime. Indulge while you can.

friends with benefits

4. Spend money.

spend money

Get used to it. And good at it. This is basically unavoidable whether you want to look 60 at 30, 90 at 60, 20 at 30, etc etc etc.

5. Watch television.

Different kinds of television. Strain your eyes. Self-heat the couch. Subscribe to Netflix. Seriously, why television gets a bad rep is beyond me. There is so much intelligent and crazy television available to the world right now, from HBO to SHO, AMC and back again, and to lump all reality TV or “trash TV” into one unintelligible category is ignorant and assuming. Television has become more immersive than ever before and deserves some props.

tv gif

6. Make friends. And enemies. And try not to judge them.

Hopefully they’ll try not to judge you too.

omg not judging

7. Make excuses.

And get good at that, too.

girls do you realize

8. Never assume ANYTHING is an end-all-be-all.

Nothing is as one-dimensional as a list. An extreme advocate of lists myself, I hate to admit it, but it’s often a use of sweeping generalization, and shouldn’t be taken completely at face value. However, when the list is a horror story of subjective and offensive “rules for life” slathered in sexism and assumption, it deserves to be called out.

welcome to real world.

9. Stop reading articles on the Internet for life advice.

Nobody should be living according to a set of ridiculous guidelines that were written to gain web traffic. Hypocritical, sure, but I’m not writing to put you down. I like my snooze button, and I’m not going to stop using it because it’s on a list of things “every twenty-something” should realize.

Sure, not everything on these lists is total bullshit. “Drink lots of water” is great advice.  But when it’s preceded by a statement like “It is morally wrong to be obese,” it’s hard not to call bullshit and get offended. You don’t need to live in New York, time is not an illusion, you don’t need to want what you can’t have, and you don’t need to listen to infuriating bullshit like “If you sleep around with a lot of people, then you are a whore.” Statements like “They stopped making good music in the 90s” come from a closed mind, a mind that will never know true comfort or satisfaction. Living by a set of preconceived notions like “being smarter does make you the better person” and “you don’t have ADD” isn’t living at all.

Every twenty-something should realize they have their own way of living life, and if you can wake up, get ready, and get to where you’ve got to be with a snooze button, there’s not a pretentious list on the planet that can tell you to do otherwise. Facebook, oily pizza, casual sex, blasting headphones, maxed out credit cards, giant tattoos, hashtags, love bites, drugs, bullshit, cell phones, depression, euphoria, family, friends, fake I love you’s, oral sex, free cake, mistakes, dirty sex, yoga, violence, high expectations, crap food, and cheap liquor are where experience is born and life is lived. Fuck the rest.

1. Thou shalt not have sex with unconscious people. Even if they were really, really into you before they passed out.


2. Thou shalt say nothing behind a back that would not be said to the face.

bitch nicki

3. Thou shalt not hate thy job for more than a few months. Be happy. If you really, really hate your job, balls up and quit. Quitting a job doesn’t have to be a giant scene or the end of the world. Not all work is for everyone. Do yourself (and all the people you complain to) a favour and find something you enjoy.

good job bb

4. Thou shalt not lie when answering “How do I look?” That shit is sacred. If someone is genuinely asking you, don’t bullshit. Constructive criticism: no need to be a bitch (…unless need be).

you look beautiful

5. Thou shalt not be a digital idiot. It is 2013. Keeping your personal pages employee-friendly, and remembering that every photo, video, and word recorded online can stay in the system forever, is important. It is also important that you outgrow unnecessary habits that may have formed in high school due to the explosion and timing of Facebook: chronicling your relationships, TMI-ing your relationships, relying on your relationship status for any kind of confirmation of anything, and not-at-all-subtle whiny song lyrics directed at people.

texting who

6. Thou shalt not answer a question with a question. It’ll be easier for people to respect you when you sound like you believe yourself. Be confident. Be sure, like Ryan Gosling.

gosling don't go

7. Thou shalt know thy drinking limits. If thou shalt blow chunks, thou shalt apologize profusely upon sobriety, and owe thy caretaker big-time. Drinking doesn’t always have to end in smudgy mascara tears on the toilet bowl and a tangled half-ponytail knotted in a pukey frenzy. Experiment with different wine and beer and learn how to order at a bar. Drink well.

drinking amy

8. Thou shalt recognize that nobody, anywhere owes you anything. You are not entitled to anything from anyone else. You are not owed a job, money, or goodwill. You are not entitled to these things because of your gender, your race, or where you’re from. Life is hard. You will have to work. You don’t deserve more than anyone else because of anything except hard work.

stop condescending

9. Thou shalt stop interrupting. You are not a child, you can be patient. Self-control, baby.


10. Thou shalt not take one’s youth for granted. Go out and do what you want. Seriously. Whether you feel like it all the time or not, being young means being resillient. Your heart will crack and break and get Magic-Bullet-ed back together, and your friends will change and move and revolve and you will learn to love the ones that stay like family. You can bounce back; and you will be more broke than you ever thought, and you’ll save and splurge and figure out what works for you. The world is your oyster, your playground, your dance floor, your blank canvas, whatever you want to call it, it’s yours. So smile, cry, go outside, date interesting people that will open your mind, read something that will change your life, and don’t let your health and vigilance go to waste. Do something!

happy jump anchorman

10. “Keep your freedom for as long as you can.”

The song says it best: “Just because you’ve become a young man now / There’s still some things that you don’t understand now / Before you ask some girl for her hand now / Keep your freedom for as long as you can now, / My mama told me…’you better shop around.'” I don’t know what’s with people and jumping the gun on marriage and commitment lately, but I feel like everyone just needs to stop and take a big ol’ breath of Motown.

9. “War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing.”

Sound familiar? Oh, just sing along. Betcha didn’t know this was Motown!

8. “Superstition ain’t the way.”

STEVIE! He was 12 when he first got signed, and by 20, had full creative control and freedom. By 1973, the world knew he was incredible, he’d had a number one album (the youngest ever on the pop charts) and several number one songs before “Superstition.” But damn, nothing feels better than the recognizable riff that opens this song. Superstition ain’t the way, but Stevie sure is.

Plus, remember when Raven did this song for the Haunted Mansion’s soundtrack? Loooool.

7. “Please, Mr Postman.”

Motown taught manners. Berry Gordy instituted an Artist Development Department at Motown, where his stars learned how to walk, talk, breathe, light a cigarette – everything was coached and perfected so that they wouldn’t give white people any more reason to avoid buying their records. Their interviews were amiable, their music was tasteful, and Gordy had a hand in it all. This was Motown’s first #1 on the Billboard Pop Charts, covered by the Beatles, the Carpenters, sampled in Juelz Santana and Lil Wayne songs, but here’s the 1961 original, by The Marvelettes!

6. “If I have to beg and plead for your sympathy, I don’t mind, cause you mean that much to me.”

Put your pride away. Everyone wants a man that ain’t too proud to beg, and nothing says it better than this 1966 classic. The Temptations are pretty easily one of my favourite bands of all time, and this song is just the most infectious, dancey songs… ever. Fun fact: The Temptations, upon their begging and pleading for your sympathy, would have used their manners. Berry Gordy instituted an Artist Development Department at Motown, where his stars learned how to walk, talk, breathe, light a cigarette, and carry themselves in public – everything was coached and perfected to Gordy’s specification. He knew what he was doing, and we are eternally grateful. Now, DANCE!

5. “Music is played for love, cruisin’ was made for love.”

Growing up in Windsor, there’s one thing that everyone enjoys and takes for granted in the border city. The quality of radio is fucking incredible. From our historic CKLW to the crossover stations from Detroit, the airwaves are brimming with variety. Because of all the shared airwaves with the Motor City, we got a lot of Motown, and Smokey was a big part of that.

4. “A, B, C!”

A pretty basic lesson, Motown even taught phonetics. Fun Fact: This song knocked the Beatles’ “Let It Be” from the top spot on the pop charts.


This must be John hearing the Beatles’ watered down Motown covers for the first time. It’s okay, Lenny, nothing will ever be as awkward as some of Jagger’s takes on the classics. Just keep reading.

3. “You can’t hurry love.”

I die a little bit inside every time someone thinks this is originally a Phil Collins song.

And mmmmmmm, this isn’t even that good, but mmmmmm..

2. “Only love can conquer hate.”

Marvin Gaye said it best in What’s Going On. He had full creative control on this album, but boss-man Berry Gordy called it “the worst record” he’d ever heard. One of the most socially-conscious songs of the 60s, and one of the best songs/albums of all time (according to Rolling Stone, Time, Billboard, fucking everybody, google it), and it practically got rejected.

1. “All we need is music, sweet music.”

Alright, so most people know this one. And rightfully so! It’s got a great big opening and an awesome groove, so enjoy the original, by Martha and the Vandellas!

David Bowie and Mick Jagger covered this song for god knows why, but if you want a really, really good laugh, I suggest the video below.

Speaking of sweet, sweet music…
Here are my five Motown favourites (and some fantastic montages) that just didn’t fit into any of the categories above. Cheers!

“Do You Love Me” – The Contours 
You know it from: Dirty Dancing! And because you just know it.
It makes you want to: Werk! Werk! Ahhhh work it out, bay-beh.

“The Way You Do The Things You Do” – The Temptations

You know it from: a few commercials, 2004’s Raise Your Voice.
It makes you want to: marry Smokey Robinson. Although, most Motown songs make me want to do that, the lyrics to this song are just so perfectly written, so adorably strung together and comfortable. The lyrics started as a joke on the tour bus between members of the Miracles, and penned to music for the Temptations. Quite literally one of my favourite songs of all time.

“I Want You Back” – The Jackson 5
You know it from: living on planet Earth.
It makes you want to: cartwheel down a beach and land in a 60s ball pit of flowers and stylized baby Jacksons.

“Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch (Can’t Help Myself)” – The Four Tops
You know it from: countless American Idol auditions and reality singing competion covers.
It makes you want to: start a quartet so you can dance in synchronization and just jam out.

“The Tracks of My Tears” – Smokey Robinson and the Miracles
You know it from: having great taste in music, congrats!
It makes you want to: sing and cry with mascara and dance and fall in love with Smokey again and again.

And here, might as well fall in love with Gavin DeGraw, too.

You know how sometimes you feel like you’re spending all this money on school and getting nothing in return? I mean, I don’t. But I hear that question way too often in university, and In my attempt to stay up on my school work (hence the weeklong writing hiatus), I read an article, or rather, an excerpt of a book – Reality is Broken, by Jane McGonigal – about gaming and how games positively affect your life. That’s right, from Diner Dash to God of War, games are GOOD FOR YOU.


So, when did playing turn into a bad thing? As kids, we looked forward to “playing,” in any sense, but as we grow older, we try and avoid players and guys that “play games.” We’re all anxious little knots of creativity just waiting to find our niche, and playing games can help you get there. I learned a few general things about games, and it’s time for you to, too:

You follow the rules because you WANT to.

At the age where rule-breaking is socially acceptable and encouraged, games are a place where following the rules is a part of the fun (loooool yeah that’s actually a thing). You follow the rules entirely of your own accord, because you want to. While we may enjoy playing on easier levels or taking certain routes (ahem, using the map to make your directional decisions in Mario Party, which I will ALWAYS believe is TOTALLY cheating), we do follow a general set of rules. From restrictions as simple as using a putter to play golf (rather than kicking or throwing the ball into the hole), to waiting your turn; separate teams themselves are an accepted rule of many games.


Winning a game is literally addictive.

It’s been proven that the feeling of overcoming adversity and accomplishing something (after beating a level, beating a score, you know that throw-your-arms-in-the-air HELL YEAH feeling? That one.) activates the part of the brain that reacts to addiction and reward. It’s also defined in one of those words-that-exist-in-other-languages-but-not-in-English, in the Italian word fiero. I have a random fascination with words that we don’t have in our language, and fiero is the Italian word for overcoming a particularly challenging adversity, and the pride that comes after. So, pretty much Italian for “OMFGFFJKILSHDUEKFXPEJDQZFUCKYEAH.”


“Playing a game is the voluntary attempt to overcome unnecessary obstacles.” -Bernard Suits

Unnecessary obstacles like not screen-peeking. Unnecessary obstacles like separate teams. Unnecessary obstacles like Pacman’s ghosts and wearing skates and different sides of the dodgeball court and advancing difficulty. Philosopher Bernard Suits stated that definition in his 1978 book The Grasshopper.


The opposite of play isn’t work, it’s depression. When we go on weeklong procrastination benders, we come out feeling lazy and blaahhhfhiueerkduer.  Granted, nobody wants to be buried in work all the time, but being lethargic and getting bored doesn’t actually make you feel any better. You know the feeling, you’re on the second disc of Entourage and you’re starting to get a little anxious. Is there anything else you should be doing? You’ll flick through your phone, maybe read a few quips on Twitter, salivate over your friends’ dinners on Instagram, and probably settle on half-watching Adrien Grenier on one screen, and playing Temple Run 2 on another. We look forward to lazy, easy, “relaxing” fun, but when it actually comes, we’re fidgety and negatively stressed. It’s scientifically proven that little accomplishments generate positive emotion, and genuinely improve morale.


When I finished reading the chapter, I could barely contain myself from running out and switching my major to game theory. It’s one of those things from school that I actually enjoy (aka: SOFUCKINGINTERESTINGFSLKDJ), and this is my version of shouting from the rooftops. Finding something you enjoy, “work” that is hard enough to keep you engaged, as well as something enjoyable and stimulating, is important. Whether it’s writing, doodling, playing sports, or whatever your niche is, find it and play hard.

So really, games and life aren’t all that different. My favourite realization/game-to-life-connection is that you don’t always want to win. Sometimes you can’t. Sometimes the goal is just play til you lose, or as long as you can. Think Tetris, think Temple Run. You know you’re going to lose eventually, whether it’s because you couldn’t resurrect yourself in time, or because it’s totally fucking impossible to get past level fifteen on Tetris because oh my god how can people move that quickly, seriously? We want to live, not just kill time. Tetris, Temple Run, they’re challenges within challenges that you can overcome over time, but you will never WIN. And somehow, after 170 million downloads of Temple Run, we are still entertained.



1. The friends you gained and lost within high school.

If you were friends in ninth grade, done by tenth grade, enemies by eleventh, and over it and each other by prom, you probably don’t need each other in your third year of university. Granted, some people are good contacts to keep, but if you can’t think of a justifiable reason and you haven’t spoken SINCE high school, you might as well get rid of them before they become little more than a scroll-by “Who…?” on your newsfeed. Deletes and unfollows don’t have to be malicious or mean, or even personal (though they can be. Try and avoid that.).

2. That friend who only brings you down.

Negativity, especially when given access to Twitter and other broadcastable forms of being social, is just no good. You know the ones, they post the dramatic, sad song lyrics, the uncomfortable over-shares, and the really pathetic “omg life cant b wurse right now” updates that nobody takes seriously. Unfollow exists for a reason, just keep your fingers crossed that you don’t have to deal with weird emotional social activity from actual friends: that can get awks.


STOP IT. LOOK FOR THE GODDAMN CHECKMARK. You KNOW that isn’t Wiz Khalifa. This is 2013, people. Learn how to use Twitter.

4. Everyone you accumulated over the course of high school that you haven’t actually ever spoken to since.

Seriously. The girl who had the locker next to you in ninth grade, the friend-of-a-friend from the volleyball team, that guy you bought off of that one time at that party? Facebook is a social network for friends, not an accumulation of everyone you’ve ever known. Try not to invest yourself in the social lives of strangers and unnecessary acquaintances, it’ll only clog up your digital pores with unnecessary shit you don’t need. It’s like really, actually caring about the lives of celebrities that don’t care about you. You can control who’s on your Facebook; you can’t control who’s on the cover of magazines.

5. Friends exes.

If you weren’t friends with them, then why…? Don’t go there.

6. The friend on her eighteenth chance.

If she KEEPS borrowing money whilst barely making rent and going out every weekend, KEEPS getting too wasted and losing your shoes, KEEPS expecting everything with no expectation of giving anything in return, KEEPS “borrowing” but never returning everything ever, KEEPS accidentally sexting you instead of her fifteen FWBs, and this has KEPT happening since you graduated; it’s time to purge. This also applies to anyone over the legal drinking age that still hasn’t learned their limits, friends that use you as a hotel, and anyone who doesn’t care about their credit. It’s time to grow up, and shed that shit.

7. Anyone you constantly hate-read.

Facebook photos you look at and loathe, tweets you huff past, instagram photos that make you scroll faster, this is not what these networks are for. Find people who you enjoy, who don’t irritate you, and who know how to properly use a social network (“OMG I HAVE THE BEST BF EVA” does NOT cut it in a world where I can conveniently unfriend you without even leaving my newsfeed). Fill your news feed with positivity. There are only so many things you can pay attention to before you need to differentiate what’s actually important and what can be simply removed.

8. Anyone you constantly hate for no reason (slightly different than the people you simply hate-read).

Girls, stop hating on pretty girls. Boys, stop it too, if that’s a thing. But seriously, girls, stop it. This endless cycle of pointless hate is absurd and unproductive. Hating someone because of unjustified jealousy accomplishes nothing, and whether it’s their movie-star good looks since birth, their fabulous apartment, or their job-that-never-seems-to-stop-promoting… hate-jealousy is poison, and you need to detox that shit.

9. Anyone you slept with and never spoke to again.

Unless you’re planning on pursing another round (which, if you haven’t spoken in years – you’re not), get rid of it. Especially if it wasn’t that great of a connection in the first place (which, if you haven’t attempted contact in years – it wasn’t). It’s like keeping leftovers you KNOW you aren’t going to eat. It’s like buying a movie because you heard it was good but it actually wasn’t that good and it definitely wasn’t your thing, and keeping it on the top shelf just wasting space. It’s like favouriting website bookmarks you don’t use, shoes you’ve never worn, that dress that fits okay but you never wear it out cause you don’t really like it THAT much and …okay, I should really stop before I offend someone. 3, 2, 1, CLEANSE!

1. Their taste in music.

I can personally scroll through my iTunes and find as many songs from The Temptations as I can Taylor Swift. The Walkmen are followed by 90s Weezer, 80s Whitesnake, Will Smith and his kids (remember, don’t judge!), and The Wreckers. It starts with A. R. Rahman and ends with 38 Special. If I were to try and judge myself on my taste of music, I would be half a ghettofabulous shallow hipster from the 40s-80s, and half elderly man with a thing for trashy top 40, EDM, anything Motown, and obscure television soundtracks. Judging people on their taste in music is like genuinely basing your treatment of a person on whether they prefer orange or apple juice.

Speaking of, here’s a little playlist of my favourites right now, from opposite sides of the spectrum:

2. The number of people they’ve slept with.

Oh Jesus, get over it already. Seriously. Especially once you’ve left high school, opened your mind, opened your legs, and begun your mandatory life-long course in sexual politics. Accepting that “your number” doesn’t define you – and other people’s numbers don’t define them – means that you have control of your sexuality. You don’t need to be that insecure bitch calling every girl without a serious commitment a slut. Let’s talk about Sluts here.

3. Whether or not they’re a “hipster.”

Some people just need glasses. As a girl who needs glasses, STOP ASKING US IF THEY’RE REAL. And stop wearing glasses if they’re not real. Hipster or not, it’s unnecessary. Some of us have very little vision left, If you’re blessed with perfect vision, enjoy it, and don’t cloud it with fingerprinted lenses you don’t need. Granted, some of us just like bargain hunting. Some of us just have different taste in music. Some people just like Pinterest. Some people just like PBR are still too closed-minded or cheap to expand their taste. Some people work the androgynous boho look, and some people just really like spending 40$ on a tank top from American Apparel. Whatever. Stop hating on every person who enjoys thrift shops and indie music. It’s cheap, alright?

Ultimate hipster timeline here.

4. The alcohol they drink.

Unless you’re in the cheap first-year-of-college drinking mode (which you should not be, unless you are actually IN your first year of college), stop it. You can do better than PBR and shitty bulk wine. Hell hath no fury like a cheap wine hangover, and you’ve outgrown that. But that doesn’t mean you have to roll your eyes at every drink you’re not a fan of.


5. Whether or not they read the Twilight books (in the past).

Seriously. If you went to high school when the first movie came out, you probably read the damn book. Just live with it and move on – might I recommend Silver Linings Playbook? The book is an easy read, but a substantial one. Don’t like reading? Learn to. You can judge people that keep reading them though, just a bit.

Watch more Bad Lip Reading videos here.

“My best friend is the man who’ll bring me a book I ain’t read.”
-Abraham Lincoln

1. Spend at least a few hours every day away from your cell phone. Even if it’s just to watch a movie, unplug for a while.

2. Just sign up for Netflix already, and get off your roommate’s account. You’ll be able to have it on your phone, your computer, and you won’t be a mooch. It’s the little victories.

3. At least one grocery trip a month, don’t buy anything with unpronounceable, chemical ingredients. Invest in some fruit, and give your body a breath of fresh air.

4. Start making checklists. You’ll forget less, and remember more. Or, you’ll end up like me, with fifty checklists in fourteen different books, and a checklist-ception vortex at the desk at the foot of my bed. Either way, I usually don’t forget my notebook now!

5. Consider removing tactless words from your vocabulary. I’m really working on my swearing, but fuck.

6. Donate! Get into a habit of saying yes to that 2$ donation at Loblaws. That 5$ text-in donation does help, and you know it. Suck it up and help out a bit; pretend it’s tax.

7. Try a food that you didn’t know you’ve never tried. Like a pomegranate, or a fancy cheese you can’t spell. G-o-r-g-o-n-z-o-l-a?

8. Accept that people like Beyonce can do whatever they want, including name a baby Blue Ivy, blow the power at one of the biggest television and sporting events of the year, start a ridiculously unfortunate internet meme, and lip sync at a Presidential inauguration, and somehow she owns it all and you will still want to be her.

9. Stop caring about stuff you don’t need to care about. The Kardashians, the DWTS lineup, the Lohan family problems, the Bachelor. You can care, just don’t like, actually care.

10. Learn how to properly use LinkedIn, and start networking. You’ll thank yourself. And then me. And then the people who invented LinkedIn. But don’t exaggerate here: LinkedIn is a professional network, so if you haven’t accepted your digital footprint as a permanent judge of your character, you better start. Google yourself, and get rid of the reasons _____________ shouldn’t hire you.

11. Try not to be sexist. Even just in little things. Try.

12. Stop endlessly complaining about things you know you don’t know anything about. Sure, you can hate Glee all you want. You can rip on Community or try and tear apart Lost, but if you’ve never watched the damn show, especially if you’ve never even seen it once, stop. Nobody wants to hear rambling nothings based entirely on third-hand information. Give the show a try, there’s a reason people love it. And if it’s not your thing, try not to ruin it for everyone else.

13. Don’t give yourself such a hard time.

14. Accept that your family has Facebook. So do your employers, so clean it up.

15. Choose one of the following quality comedies and get hooked: Community, 30 Rock, Shameless, Louie, Girls, or Parks and Recreation. 

16. Try to keep the number of mornings you wake up hating liquor to a minimum. Take care of your liver, especially if you started early.

17. Stop complaining about the same things and start looking forward to other things. It’s fucking freezing? Yeah, thanks. I’ve been outside in the last three months, I’m aware. Can we stop talking about it, and start making summer plans already? Festival lineups are out. Pick one, make a summer goal. You won’t regret it.

18. Read more sites like this. And books. And newspapers. And write more.

19. Pick an older show on Netflix and enjoy a simpler time. Use it to fall asleep, watch it intently, whichever. Just educate yourself on television past, Netflix has got some gems (Dick Van Dyke and Cheers, to recommend a few options).

20. Edit your goals so they’re achievable. Sure, you’re probably not going to never drink again. But you could make a deal with yourself to never drink straight tequila from a funnel before dinner again.