10 People You Become as a Post-Secondary Student In March and April

1. The Productive, Get-Shit-Done-r.

This usually lasts for short, sporadic periods of time in between other 9 people on this list. Enjoy it while it lasts. Bask in it, and remember how good it feels to be productive.

words and ideas can change

2. The Summer Fanatic.

Festival lineups, summer tour announcements, the changing weather, spring can bring a lot of distractions, and the Summer Fanatic lives for this. You thrive upon new announcements, and while most lineups are out, schedules and ticket sales are still in full swing. Social media for the next three months will serve one major purpose, and that is anticipation. You’re following all the festival info pages, checking out contests and basically living in a shell of procrastination until flip-flops become seasonally acceptable once again.


3. The Napper.

Just sleep, it’ll actually be spring eventually.

sleep boo
4. The Jumped-The-Gun-On-Shorts Guy.

It’s still too cold for shorts. It is still a one-digit temperature. You still need a jacket. You still need pants. Granted, sometimes you get caught out for the day in an outfit that you planned based on the weather (these days, you have no idea what to expect), which usually never ends well in these transitory seasons. But usually, if it’s still March, and it’s still under ten degrees, IT IS STILL TOO EARLY FOR SHORTS. Honestly, it’s just upsetting. I can’t wear shorts, so why can you? It’s too cold. Stop it.

shit we will not put up with

5. The March Break Complex Guy.

Whether your school gives you a March break, Spring break, reading week, whatever, it’ll probably fall at a different time than others (surrounding colleges and universities, high schools, etc). Yes, it’s going to be annoying, seeing warm, sandy, beach spam all over your Instagram. Yes, it’s really upsetting that everyone on your Facebook is out for a week, spending their parents’ money and taking family-funded vacations while you’re rolling in debt and midterms/finals/assignments, but you do get out before May, and the high school kids, at least, have got two more months to go. Plus, remember how EARLY you used to get up, like, every day? It still blows my mind that high-school-me had that initiative.


6. Depressed.

You will never get all this shit done. Why even bother? You hated half your classes this semester anyway, why are you even in school to begin with? The government is overcharging you. Your bank is overcharging you. Corruption runs our country. Fuck school. School is for fools. Edison didn’t go to school, right? And he’s fine. He’s allllll good. I’ll just invent something. Like a lightbulb, or ketchup packets.


7. The Admittedly Unproductive/Procrastinater Guy.

You know you’re not getting anything reeeeally accomplished today, but it’s cool. You’ll get there. These things take time. And other things. Like Internet, and cleaning. And basically anything.

pooh eat

8. The Cheerleader.

You’re almost there! Remember why you came to school in the first place? Yeah, there you go, positivity! You’re not wasting your money, you know it’s something you gotta do, and you’re almost at a finish line! Granted, one of many finish lines, most of which are paired with a punch to the gut that takes your wallet and your schedule and tears shit up with each, but you’ve got this, girl/bro/man/friend.

wink devil wears prada

9. An actual student that has to actually write exams and words and functions.

Eventually, actual exam time will come.

lord beer me strength

10. Drunk.

Go ahead, use any money you’ve managed to accumulate this semester for a celebratory liquor feast. You did it. You made it one more year. Take advantage of your time off, whether it’s a few days before summer school, a few months before the fall semester, or whether you’re heading in another direction, take a moment and bask in where you’re at.

jlaw no pants

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