1. Everyone with headphones in is listening to One Direction.
That guy with the dreads walking with a limp? Yup. The Jon Hamm lookalike you pass by on the way to work? Yup. The bitter bus driver with a stick up her ass? Yup. Seriously entertaining.
2. Celebrity Match-Up
From the son of Geddy Lee and Paris Hilton I saw at the grocery store, to the hybrid daughter of Daniel Radcliffe and Julia Roberts that lives on my block, I love calling people out on who they kind-of-sort-of-might look like, especially when you find the really, really accurate ones. It doesn’t have to be offensive, it doesn’t even have to be based on looks or clothes or anything that makes sense, it’s your game. The other day, someone told me I reminded them of a Lena Dunham-Jennifer Lawrence hybrid. I don’t know how well I handled it.
3. Animal sounds.
Pretty much just a game of subtle offensive comments, this works best in a loud area where you can be… not heard. Make the sounds of the animals that would represent the passersby. Most accurate wins. Extra points for realizing most animals make a similar eoiuertyoiwuehakjbvausd sound.
4. Narrate conversations you’re not close enough to hear.
Bonus points for narrating a couple’s breakup.
5. Wave at babies.
This may not be a game, but seriously, when the baby waves back and you remember how flusteringly adorable tiny people are, and you turn into a pile of smushy baby talk that pretty much consists of opening your mouth and saying “Hiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!” in varying volumes and levels of obnoxious glee… you’ll just feel better.
It’s like petting someone’s dog on the street corner. It just makes you happier. But definitely go with waving. Don’t touch people’s babies. They don’t like that.
Play I Spy, but with sounds. Just take in the soundscape around you. You know catching bits of conversations out of context is funny, so try hearing more. You might catch something interesting.
Hearing actual breakups is even more fun that making them up.
7. Reverse shit-talk the world.
It’s really easy to sit on the patio and and rip on everyone that walks by, calling them names and making animal sounds. But it’s actually easier, and way more pleasant by the end, to discuss the positives of people. Her shoes, his jacket, the way they walk together. It’s easy to get caught up in your opinion of things, but seeing the diversity of humanity is awesome, and people-watching is where it’s at.